Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Feeling like we all have lost that funny friend. O CAPTAIN! my Captain!

This is not the normal things I blog about but I'm going to....

It's so crazy how life is....

 I'm 34, almost 35 years old and I still don't understand, why a person can be here one day and gone the next. I've always been dealing with death, in one way or another. My dad died when I was just a very little girl so I don't really remember him, just venetian blinds. Yes, my grandmother also passed away too when I was young. But my grandfather died before I was born; so I don't remember him as will. Three boys; I had gone to high school with died in this crazy car accident. Three gone at one time...

The summer when I was 21, we lost a very good friend. He was taken from us buy a very mean, cold and soulless person. I saw him the day before, and then the next day he was gone. We all still want to know what happened but that's a whole other bag of worms. It cut me so deep. Some days I just can't not think of Scottie; the way he would hug you, the way he smelled. I miss him, I think of what he could be doing now... Maybe he would be married, with kids or traveling the world. Who knows, but he would be here! Later on that year my sister and I lost our mom. It was a two weeks before my 22nd birthday, and a four days before her own birthday. Her heart just gave out. No body saw that coming as will. One day she was there and the next day she was gone.

I have so many story's of friends journeying to the spirit world for one reason or the other; and I have cried for them all. But with the death of Robin Williams, it feels like we all have lost that really good friend. In the past days, since the news about his passing, I find myself thinking about him, his family, friends and fans. I have never met Robin Williams but, it feels like he was an old friend. A friend who I could always go to, if I need a pick-me-up! A friend who would drop everything and help you, a friend who would make you laughing out loud, when you thought "I can't laugh right now". He was a friend to us all, that amazing, loud, funny, loving person- he was a gift. I don't think we will see anyone like him again, they just don't make people like that anymore.... And that makes me sad. Think You all, for letting me get this off my chest.

By Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

  O Captain! My Captain!

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
    But O heart! heart! heart!        
      O the bleeding drops of red,
        Where on the deck my Captain lies,
          Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills; 
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
    Here Captain! dear father!
      This arm beneath your head;
        It is some dream that on the deck, 
          You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won; 
    Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
      But I, with mournful tread,
        Walk the deck my Captain lies,
          Fallen cold and dead.

  Thank You Robin for all the laughs and love. We will never forget you!

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